


Multilingual

by metalvsflesh (ZoicZeph)



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Conversation Without Dialogue, Depression, Family Bonding, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 22:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16504145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoicZeph/pseuds/metalvsflesh
Summary: We have our own little language, don't we? How hilarious. I don't think I've ever known anyone who can speak Silence.I like it. I can not speak, and you seem too tired to say anything yourself, but it feels like we're still talking despite that.Ha.. I teach you the most useless of things....





	Multilingual

I am used to a silence in my lab that would cause most to become acutely aware of how vulnerable their existence is. The room is so crowded, full of boxes and boxes of miscellaneous parts, blueprints, old textbooks, encyclopedias... any sound you make is absorbed within seconds of being produced. You hear it only from the source. It goes no further. It's a deadening silence.

Quite honestly, it's comforting.

I am in my own space. Working at my own pace. I have no other worries besides myself and my latest fixation. It's.. pleasant.

Others usually feel unnerved in this kind of silence, slowly losing themselves in their mind. I can see it when they visit. After they close the door, it is instant. They pause. They look about them, an expression of pure shock. I can only imagine what they think.

I had one person say it felt 'hollowed' and 'heavy'. Like it harbored lost and empty spirits. Like someone had suffered and died here.

I couldn't keep myself from laughing. Somewhat grimly, I'll admit, but I found it hilarious. If only they knew.

As much as I love this room, the silence it produces, it is terrible at keeping me from my thoughts. The amount of times I've contemplated suicide in this room is.. astonishing. Not that anyone would care if I did.

I'm alone in this damned room, just like I'm alone in this damned life. The only difference is that here I only have to deal with myself telling me I don't matter, rather than everyone else.

The truth always stings when someone else says it.

* * *

I'm.. not used to this.

The constant rhythmic clicking and hissing from your pipes. The groan of steel from your breathing. You constantly make noise, but I guess you can't help it. I can't blame you for it. You didn't make yourself that way. _I_ made you that way.

But it's breaking my silence...

I've had that same silence for thirty years, you know. I've grown a little attached to it. It was the only thing that was ever truly _mine_. And I've gone and ruined it.

Like everything else I had...

Great going, me.

I curled into a ball, covered my ears. I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as they'd go. It can't be too much to ask. Really, just let me have one thing. Let one thing go well in my life. Just _one_ god-damned thing! It can't be that hard! What do I have to do? Just tell me! Tell me what I need to do to get _one damn thing_ done right for once in my miserable life!

~~Just let me be happy for once..~~

No.

No.

No, I'm not going to cry.

I can't.

I won't.

Crying is weak.

It's stupid.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Don't..

...

Please, just.. don't cry.

...

Please.

 

...

 

You crawled up next to me. Quietly. You looked confused.. and a little scared...

...

Never have seen me cry, have you?

I never had to around you.

...

I've always been happy with you.

...

You curled up into a ball and hugged your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks, dripping down onto my knees and soaking into my pants and sleeves, where I'd been burying my face.

I'm so weak..

...

You're so patient.

...

You don't have to do this, you know.

I know you're trying to comfort me. Or just see what I'm doing. Could be either. Both are useless to you: I'm not worth the effort, and you have no use learning how to cry.

...

Thank you.

...

It.. means a lot...

...

Really.

...

I haven't had anyone really care for a while.

...

No one.

...

Not even me.

...

 

Ha ha..

...

We have our own little language, don't we? How hilarious. I don't think I've ever known anyone who can speak Silence.

...

Ha.. I teach you the most useless of things....

...

I love you.

...

I love you very, very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I wrote this to vent please don't burn me at the stake k thanks for reading <3


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